it has definitely not turned out the be the better year then 2009 that i had hoped it would be. all in all, 2009 wasnt so bad compared to what i have gotten so far out of 2010. for one the snow has been ridiculous. put a huge damper on things...if we had gotten 50 some inches spread out over the whole winter, that would have been kinda cool. to get that much in 2 weeks is ridiculous and the aftermath is still going on. now we are worrying about flash flooding due to the rain coming next week and the 10 ft piles of snow melting in the rain...wonderful.
the bartending gig that i was so looking forward to, has been shit. i really need to get another decent gig where i can pull $100 a shift. that's all i ask. $10 a shift is ridiculous. i dont even like the place that i work at! i dont like the scene, i dont like the set up or vibe and so many of us know its gonna be dead inside of a year, i dont know why im still there. i guess because something is better than nothing when looking for another gig. i hope Rich gets his bar set up and opened soon so at least i can be working somewhere i like and might be able to have more than 1 shift a week. i am even considering going to della notte where i can at least get paid $10 an hr to stand behind the bar and do nothing...
i have gained so much weight since this past summer it is grotesque. i went on lexapro for stress and anxiety issues over the early summer and i gained 20-25 pounds. gross. i went vegetarian around the same time and my increased intake of soy has apparently compounded my issues with the weight gain. i feel disgusting, i look gross and all of my clothes are too tight and look awful on me. i am starting a new workout and diet regimen tomorrow, so i am hoping to make a decent dent in this mess in the next month or two. getting fat definitely does NOT help stress/anxiety/depression issues. whoever makes that damn drug should know better!
then of course there is the money issue. seems like everyone i know is having money problems right now. i am the queen of NSF and late payments right now. i was hoping that the bartending gig would help keep me better afloat, but with only making $10 a week at this crappy gig, its barely paying for my gas.
all in all, i am just not in a happy place. i guess i need to look at the positives, like i still have a day job, in general, i am still able to semi pay my bills and i am not in danger of being evicted or having my car repo'd. but my car is a whole nother issue in itself...ugh. i just need this bad spot to end and the more positive stuff to start flowing...
hopefully in the next few months things will turn around. at least in one area to keep me positive and making it through the other crappy areas.
Edmonton.
17 years ago
